Agh!
I seem to be making a bigger and bigger fool of myself every day. I'm still clean from my doc, but alcohol seems to be taking a foothold (yes I know, replacing one for another) I can't say what I want until I'm drunk, and when I'm drunk I end up saying way more than I ever meant to say. I've been stupid enough to let my heart get broken yet again, and I'm just sick of allowing myself to care enough to get hurt. Then I get angry, then I get drunk, then I get stupid. I just wish I could find a way to get my feelings out, but I just have this urge to tell him what a pansy I think he's being, and how upset I am about the whole situation. More than anything, I really wish I didn't care. I get so mad at myself when I care. I'd rather be ice cold.