Reggie, I think I relate to that. I recognized there was something wrong for years, even though I didn't have a lot of dramatic incidents that stemmed from the drinking - and I drank over top of the recognition. I would take care of it later, always later. But it was a long period of just me and the alcohol, and I kept myself trapped in "there."
As you stay off the drinking, you might feel a more pronounced sense of guilt that comes over you during the first couple of weeks. I'm not a medical expert, but I think that is a common physical reaction to adapting to the absence of the drug. If that does happen, just remember it will get better. Don't be afraid to go to the doctor either to make sure everything is OK. Be satisfied with each day that goes by with no alcohol, they will pile up and this will increase your confidence in the new normal.
Lot of people feel much of what you feel and always have.