I can understand where you are coming from with the "couple of glasses of wine" thing. I have this same problem too. Earlier this week I made it through my first event where alcohol was served without drinking. I've got a long weekend at the beach coming up next month where there will be lots of drinking. It's a work thing, so not going is not an option. I'm already stressing about it. I really think the root of my problem is that I have not accepted that this is really a problem for me.
Pot was my DOC and I always considered my drinking "managable", and I suppose to a large degree it was. It is however a problem for me. Am I a "real alcoholic"? I don't know and don't really care, it is a problem though. If it were really "no big deal", like I've said many times, it wouldn't be any problem saying no. However that is really not the case, as shown by my obsessing about an event 3 weeks out.
So I guess what I'm saying, for me at least, is that I don't think I take this seriously enough, and I need to. Are you in the same boat? Are you really ready to commit? It's hard, I've been on the fence for a long time, and I really need to choose a side. Hope some of this helps. Take care.