Hi Mike,
I don't find your post "whiney"- it's good you posted about the difficulties you and your wife are facing right now and that it helped you to write it all down. Recognizing what triggers you is helpful, and I agree with Anna that being sober in this situation will help you find a way to cope.
Triggers show us where there are things that affect us emotionally or cause us pain, and now that we're sober we feel these emotions completely, without the numbing of any substance. And it s ok to share your pain, maybe you need a place where you can do this because you have to stay strong all the time to help your wife. So in my opinion that's not a "whiney" post, in a way it shows that you are making progress and are finding new ways to cope with feelings you have been numbing out for a long time.
Keep posting as much as you need, ther will be people here who support you and will listen. I hope that both your job situation and your wife's health problems will take a positive turn soon. All my best wishes, and lots of positive thoughts to you and your wife