How about serving an eviction notice on Mr. Nasty Guilt Monster!!
I have a sticker on one of my recovery books that says:
"Screw Guilt"
I know that is a little harsh but I worked hard to learn to distinquish the difference between realistic and unrealistic guilt.
Realistic guilt is a little twang I get in my gut about an action I took on a situation that I possibly could have handled better - something I did that was unhealthy, unproduction, and unwise - possibly not the most recovery oriented idea.
Unrealistic guilt is the feeling I get when SOMEONE else tells me my actions are NOT what they wanted me to do - when a loved one tries to manipulate my actions to meet their desires, needs or wants, when my old "caretaking/rescue" traits start to come out and make me uncomfortable. When I begin to feel I "should" be doing something for someone that they truly could do for themselves.
Sometimes it takes me a while too look if my feelings are realistic or unrealistic guilt - but once I figure it out - then I can ask -
if realistic guilt - HP, help me to take actions to change to a healthier way of life.
if unrealistic guilt - HP, help me to keep my boundaries strong, continue taking care of myself and my recovery. Also to allow my loved one the dignity of figuring their own problems out, please help me not to rob them opportunity to grow their own self-esteem - whether they believe it or not.
These are just the things that are working for me in dealing with that Mr. Nasty Guilt Monster
HUGS,
Rita