Hi Ella,
The problem I had with people telling me that I should "love myself first" or "respect myself more" is that I had no idea how to do that.
It was like telling me to not drink. I couldn't do it.
I have found a great deal of help in the book The New Codependancy by Melodie Beattie (she has other books too).
Of course you know that the right answer is that you have to end this relationship but ending the relationship does not solve the problem as to why you got involved in the first place. It was not love because you don't get involved with someone who is not available because you love them. Just like you don't drink to oblivion because you love alcohol.
Ending the relationship will just put the problem on pause .........and it will happen again in other unhealthy relationships. Check out the book and see what you can learn about yourself and why you behave in such self-harming ways.
Well done on being sober
