She wants to be just like me.
My daughter is having a 'dress for success' day tomorrow at school. Basically a what do you want to be when you grow up day with clothes/uniforms. She is seven years old and wanted to wear one of my old lab coats with goggles and have pockets full of rocks with a squeezy bottle of HCl and a rock hammer. I am a geologist/teacher and she wants to be just like me.
First - it is interesting how she sees me. Busy with rocks. :-)
Second - the responsibility of having my daughter copy me is weighing heavily on my shoulders. I am flattered and freaked-out. It is such and honor and a horror. I am realizing how closely she observes me and how she sees IT. She has not known me without the pressure that comes when raising a special needs child (her brother) and I am not what I want to be. Maybe she sees how dedicated I am to my family, maybe not. Maybe kids just want to be like their parents.
I haven't had a drink in over three months. No numbing out, instead happy and in the moment. I hope that this is what she remembers and emulates. I have always been aware that kids want to be like their parents but it has been a back-burner issue for me lately. Getting to sleep, not staying up late drinking, figuring out my relationship with my husband, trying to cope with my son's behavior and healthy living have been in the forefront.
It is hard to stay in denial about my impact on my kids when they want to be just like me.
Sorry for the rant, husband is gone and I need an ear. Anybody else thinking about this? Any children of alcoholics or siblings of handicapped kids have feedback for me?
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