I feel like an idiot. Just had a good text from my partner saying that he forgives me and we can just start again at day one today
You're NOT an idiot, you're an alcoholic like the rest of us. It really is a daily program. Forgive yourself, learn from it, and start over. You didn't waste your sober time, you'll always have that accomplishment. Start over with day one and just don't drink for today. You can do this.
I've relapsed too many times to remember but never gave up on myself, and when I felt like giving up on myself I came here and got the support and encouragement I so desperately needed.
If a 'next time' arrives, come here instead. We'll help you get thru it safely. We love ya!