Welcome Need2bsober. I'm sure you've heard the phrase "alcoholism is a progressive disease". I drank all my life too, but by the time I was in my 40's it was devastating me & almost took my life. I started out just drinking on weekends & in the end I drank all day, every day. I had to keep a certain amount in my system or I'd shake & begin withdrawing. You haven't reached that point, but you are wise to take action now.
What I had to do was give up the idea that I could control my drinking. For me that was the hardest part - convincing myself I had no more time to play with this thing. It was killing me & sucking the life out of me. It was no longer fun - just a habit with no meaning and no happy endings anymore. I always felt like hell and was putting my life in danger. The old days of it being fun & relaxing were gone for me - and it was like losing a lifelong friend. Once I admitted I had to learn to live again without it, I found this place and began to read what others had been through. When I saw I was not alone it was such a comfort - I got the courage to do what so many here had done. I did it alone, but I don't recommend that. I would come clean with your doctor and ask for suggestions on how to safely give up this habit. I'm not sure you'll have withdrawal symptoms with the amounts you are drinking now, but maybe something for your nerves could be prescribed. AA meetings would probably be very helpful for you, too.
Many retirees find themselves in this predicament. No longer having to show up for work or keep to any particular schedule is wonderful, but dangerous for heavy drinkers. I have a neighbor who was a social drinker all his life - held an important job & raised 3 children. After retiring he began afternoon cocktails & is in a stupor by 8pm at night. Unlike you, he seems unaware of the danger he's in. Be thankful you see the light and are going to take action! I'm glad you found us - keep talking and let us know how you're doing.