Originally Posted by
308win 
Sitting in a hotel room drinking myself away, and I wonder why? Why do I drink and use? why do I have to always have something? and yet I sit here and wonder why my helth has royaly declined. Why do I continue? Part of me wants to quit but the other part always overwhelms me. I dont know what the F is wrong with me. I ask for help, then get mad. People try to help me all the time saying your only 20, only been drinking for the past 6 years everyday. I wish I could change, not have to drink in the mornings, not wake up wonder what I did and feel guilt. I hate this. I do anything to escape reality. I just like the ME when im drinking and some xanax, klonopins, etc... Typical bipolar I do not know. I dont even know what I am asking for anymore?? Like I said I ask for help try to use it, then just get upset. Thanks for any advice and sorry for wasting anyones time
Gezzz you sound like me except that I've been sober now for 6 months today, but even today I know the reason and I am sure that you know the reason also. You're more than likely a Alcoholic/Addict? If you can say that you are, and know in your heart that you are, than you have maybe a little Chance for a recovery. I only know that for myself I know that after the last one when I gave up over 25 months sober. Actually unless it got lost it should be here in my blogs.
I too have a lot of mental issues, Bi-Polar, Anxiety to the extreme, and PTSD and blah blah blah. But it isn't what we have, it is what we are willing to do since we know we have these issues are we willing to take the corrective course in action to get help. I have and God it is like...I can not be happy! WTF well somedays maybe but not always.
Anways off topic have a good one and think positive! I will for one more day
