I am Maybee?
Sitting in a hotel room drinking myself away, and I wonder why? Why do I drink and use? why do I have to always have something? and yet I sit here and wonder why my helth has royaly declined. Why do I continue? Part of me wants to quit but the other part always overwhelms me. I dont know what the F is wrong with me. I ask for help, then get mad. People try to help me all the time saying your only 20, only been drinking for the past 6 years everyday. I wish I could change, not have to drink in the mornings, not wake up wonder what I did and feel guilt. I hate this. I do anything to escape reality. I just like the ME when im drinking and some xanax, klonopins, etc... Typical bipolar I do not know. I dont even know what I am asking for anymore?? Like I said I ask for help try to use it, then just get upset. Thanks for any advice and sorry for wasting anyones time