I did, today. Today is day 20 for me and it was a rough one. Spring is in the air, the motorcycles are out, the bar down by the river is open and booming with business. Every trigger in my head was going off that this would be a good day to drink. A day off the record, that no one would have to know about.
I know that that is the disease talking. I tried to convince my husband to go out and buy beer, to let me have three or four. Sure, I could have gone and gotten it myself, but I wanted approval. He gave me none...firstly because my doctor has given him strict orders not to, and second because he said that that would be enabling me.
I sulked, I slept, I didn't know what to do...I took the kids to the park, made a feeble attempt at getting some laundry done, and now it's already after 6 p.m. and I realize I still have a dirty bathroom and carpets that have not been vaccuumed; that these things aren't going to get done today and tomorrow it's back to work, back to dealing with an @$$hole boss, making time to get to meetings and just trying to survive.
Damn...a whole day, wasted.
