Spawn,
Man, do I know THIS one from first hand experience!!!!! When I met my spouse, I had just begun seven years of insanity with drugs and alcohol. My spouse had always been there in the past to get me home, help keep me out of jail, get me to work, out of scrapes, etc..... It wasn't until my employer said "Go to Treatment or you can go work somewhere else!" I went, but not because I wanted to! I was very angry, but I went.
In Treatment, they told us (married folks) that "EVERYTHING is going to be different once you get out of here. Even those of you who thought you KNEW everything about your spouse! Of course you love them, but the person they married is now changing! That's not what they got married to you for! They expected you to stay the same, but you can't! We have to change playgrounds and playmates, or else WE DIE!"
They told us to give our marriages two years. They said we could ask them to go to Alanon if we wanted to, but we should be very careful how we say it. We don't want them to think there is "something wrong" with THEM too!