Thanks for the posts. By 'normal' life I was referring to a life where you participate in 'normal' society ie- go to work, live in a house, abide by the law, legally drive, have a routine etcetc. Like what I do now.
If I drink then I could not have all this 'normal' life for long. Job would go, driving license would go, home would go, future plans would go. So for me I can not participate in 'life' and drink. The two just aren't compatible for me. Once I am drunk I don't want to ever sober up.
I think what I have experienced is typical of what a 20 something getting sober in UK experiences. That is why I haven't met anybody even close to my age regular at AA. Majority are probably 20 years older on average. At times sitting in a church on a Friday night when you can hear all the revellers outside is hard too. But it is what it is.
Unless you really priorities staying sober as No1 priority then you will eventually take that first drink. Happens time and time again I would imagine, espeically being young in England. You have to be willing to stay away from where everthing is going on. I do not wish to drink as I am an alcoholic and I have built a good life back up with a future that is looking promising. I have hope and am proud of what I have achieved in 8 months. That isn't to say at times I don't miss the craic of a banging party or just being surrounded by party people all off from work on a bank holiday though.
But this too shall pass as they say and it really isn't a problem. Just expressing what I am feeling at the moment. I guess I am doing what I need to as I recognise my thoughts and feelings but it is all normal for a recovering alcoholic, if it was easy everyone would be doing it!
Peace