Welcome Emmy! I too am older and finally "got it" when I found SR and could at last be honest about my drinking. No one in my life understood what I was going through. Here, I could tell everything about what I was going through, and no one was judgmental or lectured me.
I had to go to AA meetings after one of my DUI's. God or religion was not mentioned in any of the meetings, and I was never asked to spill my guts. I knew I'd probably never stand up in front of a room and say, "I'm Joanie and I'm an alcoholic" like in the movies. I might now, but certainly not back then. I do think you should give it a try - I may attend myself in the future, just for extra support. For now, SR has been my miracle, and the people here have given me the support & courage I needed to quit.
I look forward to hearing more about you. My sympathies regarding your wife - I had that same situation with my first husband and he has now passed on - never did see the light. (Be sure to visit our Friends & Family Forum for support too.) Congratulations on your desire to have a new life! I drank for over 25 yrs. and never thought I'd make it out of that hell - but I did. You can too.