Mark, I do think we are capable of seeing more sides to other people, including Gr8 in this thread. I am not in AA, but I have felt offended (too strong a word) when I have found the odd comment that puts it down or even when someone talks about the God or HP debate that always comes up (despite being one of those people with a similar hang-up, more so in the distant past than nowadays).
I'm not all-knowing, but I too have an instinct that HH would not have felt the "thing" that says pour me one in that context... I think she was using the experience of feeling like an alien to do some constructive research with herself and invite comparisons from other people as a reminder that she is not alone. That's what seems to be so successful about this site. I can't remember if HH started to go to AA or if she is thinking about it, but if she wants to, it could be a great thing to add to her project.
I am also sensitive to the idea of making it seem like HH is getting better "friendship" here than in the real world, where we can't be physically present. We keep talking about her in the 3rd person, but hopefully she appreciates it, by the way....I think I see similarities to HH in me when it comes to feeling like the picture that does not match the other ones in a picture puzzle - and the homework we give ourselves, rightly or wrongly, because of it. So I think I am being vocal about this because I want her to own the usefulness that comes out of the exercise of diffusing (or is it defusing) the things that bother us and seem like challenges from friends.