Hello Kjell,
I learned early on that "it's more important to be happy than it is to be right" and sometimes saying nothing at all speaks volumes.
Speaking only for myself, in early recover, I was still used to my dysfunctional way of thinking - was still a people-pleaser, didn't have the liquid courage to get in someone's face, didn't want to "rock the boat" - the list goes on.
Early recovery, thankfully, is full of new discoveries: our way of thinking, how we look at the world, how we actually feel about things now that we're not anesthetized with the booze.
What worked for me was to listen more, speak less. I also learned that there's a world of difference between being assertive vs. being aggressive.
Finally, in all things, verbally or not, I found that asking myself "what's my motivation?" usually put things in perspective as to what actions I should take.
It's all normal and it gets easier in time. It's SO freeing to be able to actually "think" before we speak, rather than spout off in a drunken haze and regret it in the morning.
I always hung out with sober, calm and content people in AA at first and just listened. I found so much wisdom and insight.