Hi Suomi
Welcome to SR.
I've always found it difficult to care for myself too - but you can learn...you can negate those negative feelings of 'why bother' worthlessness.
We're a great bunch here of amazing wonderful people. I have no reason to think you won't fit right in
I sympathise with the insomnia - I had it for years, but not drinking has helped to make it a rare event for me now.
Like Anna says, I don't keep alcohol in my house - to me it's just putting your head in the lions mouth.
Hope to see you around more.
D