Hey Limbo. Welcome to SR. I remember being so fearful that I couldn't do it. That I didn't have it in me. No way could I make it. It's been a while since I've had my last drink, and today, I'm not wrapped up in fear anymore. I have serenity today. I don't have a fear of money, people, places or situations. I can hold my head high. I was able to do that through the 12 steps of recovery in AA. AA is not the only way to recover, but it is the only way that I was able to recover. You are among friends. Keep coming back.