Thanks for all your kind words.
It's morning now, feeling kinda down. I didn't go and get anymore last night, not quite sure how I managed that as usually I would have.
Deep down I know I have to stop, I know I am in denial about my alcoholism. I tend to lose sight of that though after a couple of days of not drinking, though those days are pretty few and far between.
I think thats why I probably came back here, I know from past experiences that I need to come here and read and post, amongst other things, I can't just keep ignoring the problem and hope it goes away on it's own, I know thats not going to happen.
Carol, you mentioned my avatar, it seems so long ago when I came here and posted that story, well it probabbly was, I'd have to check but guessing probably 3 years or more. I do remember from that time though I had hope and spirituality. At present I don't seem to have either of those things, I'm just existing.
Anyway, just ramberling again really, I'm going to stick around here for a while see if I can get some of that hope back.