Try and not worry about what others might think.
You know what alcohol does to you and why you're doing this.
Sometimes the things we did when drinking - like camping or BBQ's - are hard to do now we're not - but you'll find a lot of support here. Every time you do something sober it gets a little more familiar and a little easier.
I found I was a lot more at peace once I accepted I was an alcoholic, that I could not control my drinking once I started, and that alcohol did bad things to me.
I'm down with HL too Scamy - go and get checked out.
Your health is too important to ignore.
I'm sorry for the anxiety - it's common. It usually passes, but ask your Dr about that too if you're especially worried
D