Hmmm. Thanks for posting this, Scarlet.
I just convinced myself last night that I should give it another go. Have a drink or two since I'd been "so good" for a whole six months.
I'm sorry I did. I didn't go overboard really, at least not like I used to. I had two Bloody Marys over the course of about four hours. No big buzz. Drank "responsibly" in that I nursed them and enjoyed them.
Well... to a point. I kept thinking "I just blew six months" and couldn't stop obsessing over the freaking fact that I was drinking. Oh -- and there was the familiar feeling of alarm at realizing -- upon making my second drink -- that there wouldn't be any more vodka left for a third. So I scanned the shelves for other options. "Damn.... that wine bottle's empty. Ha ha! There's just a bit shy of one glass of Santa Margherita Pino Grigot left in that one...."
I don't have a bad hangover today thank God, but I can certainly tell I drank. AND I learned something important. I may be able to control my
drinking (like an alcoholic) on occasion, but it's pretty clear I'll never be able to stop THINKING like one.
To make a long story short -- it wasn't really worth it.
Back to day #1 and the 24 hour rule for me.