"My question is, and this floors me, how can he pretend like everything is ok? How can he believe that after calling me all kinds of horrible names last week and leaving me horrible messages while i was in the hospital....that everything is ok?"
My 2 cents:
DENIAL
GUILT
If you tell me that you want me here, it makes everything OK in his head. Everythings peachy keen. He can then tell himself "I wasn't so bad, I'm not usch a bad person 'cause she still LOVES me". Denial of how sick he is. If one is able to not get sucked into that toilet bowl black hole - Both are better off?
I just got mine out of the house. The longer he's out the more I can see what the reality of what we were was - Without attaching any magical qualities to it.