cessy68

Teke, death dosen't have any rules or boundries........ Parents that loose their children to suicide--- spouses, sisters, brothers wonder: why didn't I see it comming?

An accident, when your loved one gets angry and steps out to get a coffee: and someone is left with: "why did I yell and cause him/her to leave?"......

A child who struggled with a terminal illness, and the parent: "god, his/her life just begun, WHY did you take him/her from me?"

These statements can go on and on.... with the 'what ifs'......

It is NORMAL, for you to feel these things, however you must remember this death is/was never up to you.... there was nothing you could have done. No stepping aside would have prevented it, for everyday we try to claim some 'control' over death...... it dosen't work.

For all you know, you gave him years that he may NOT have had w/out you there... we just don't know.

Life is filled with losses teke, and no-one will be able to remove this pain from your soul.

Nothing I say, or that anyone else says will remove that any quicker......

But please take a moment to let go of your responsiblity in his death. Guilt in this process denies nature of its many gifts.... the gift of life, and the gift of death. With death, there is no more pain. No sadness for that person, no more adversity and struggle. Without loss, we have no appreciation for our gifts in life.

I know you know that I'm studying death and dying in school-- it's what I intend to specialize in. Please look up elizabeth Kubler-Ross on your computer. She will give you some amazeing insight. If you can't afford therapy right now, read her work. You can get some snipits of articles online, or go to your local library and take out some books.

I promise you it will help--- even just a little.

My thought and prayers are with you,
Blessings and love,
Cess