thank you all for your kind welcomes.
i said i was going to write more on the 26th, but well, i got distracted. tonight i am staying sober. and it's probably a good thing considering the fortnight i have either gotten drunk or had a drink or two.
In my teens, i drank on and off, did the usual stupid embarrassing stuff.
Most of my early 20s, i was pretty much a staunch non-drinker. I would rarely drink. I was too rigid, and wanted to remain in control in social situations. Occasionally (going by a vague memory), i think i may had drank a whiskey or two to get some sleep, but it never became habitual, and i did many an all-nighter back in my Uni days so i couldn't really drink. i remember my younger brother's 21st, and i had a few too many drinks then, but those were always in social situations, and it never ever followed with two weeks of continuous drinking. the habit really started around 2004/05 for me.
So, i am around the six year mark now.....but the past two years, i think it has gotten worse. though in 2007, i did try and stop drinking for three months due to a mental breakdown and severe depression. drinking didn't cure it, and i thought that being sober would cure it. It didn't......so, i went back to drinking. Got into a bad relationship, and drank on that too. i still cant believe how much time ive spent dwelling on things and drinking to dwell on them more. Several times last year, i would actually get drunk during the day almost as a compulsion to thinking about the past.
Im pretty out with my drinking, and i dont know why. i use humour at work to proclaim myself as the drunk- self-depreciative humor is not only attention-seeking but invalidating myself too. it's stupid. im going to try to not mention it anymore at work. get a better reputation.