Mostly what making my unhappy is my relationship. It's so f***ing unhealthy. Long distance and he's messed up and it's just really bad but I don't want to end it because I love him but ugh I don't want to get into details but basically it's long distance, he's in the Army, we never talk, not because we CANT but because he doesn't want to, he is going through PTSD/depression and is pushing everyone away. In a month I've talked to him 4 times and haven't seen him once. The Army is putting him on Med leave and sending him back home to deal with his **** but yeah whatever....
I've always been depressed. The only time I can remember being happy is the first 6 months of being with my boyfriend when we were in love and happy and he treated me great but whatever...
My boyfriend thinks I need to go to a hospital for my self-destructive tendencies. It's not just drinking for me and it was those tendencies that lead me to see a therapist. I've only seen her twice. She doesn't know much about the self destructive behavior...like the drinking and this other thing. But yeah IDK. I'll just tell her I think I drink too much to start zoloft. Its just hard for me to trust her and stuff I mean I'm not good with talking about myself. It's a lot easier online