Hi tera
Welcome to SR. I'm not a parent, but many of our members are and I'm sure they'll have experience to share with you.
I do know it's really important you take care of yourself in all of this.
Have you and your husband thought of something like NarAnon?
I'm in Australia but Naranon is a world wide phenomenon
How Nar-Anon Works Nar-Anon Home
You could also read our Family and Friends forums - I think you'll find a lot of similarity and experience down there too
The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com
Please keep reading and posting
D