*Whew*
Just finished day #59 weed free. Someone mentioned in a reply to me at some point on this site that I might soon be able to change my name to "Change Done Come". I was thinking about that quite a bit today. :o) It sure feels like a successful journey at this point.
I'm staying super busy with work and the challenge of going back to school has been more rewarding than I could have imagined. So far I'm managing to maintain an A average (I've only had 2 graded assignments - lol). I came so close to giving up on several occasions, but decided since I'd already paid for it, I might as well try to finish it.
I've been able to continue enjoy things that I used to only enjoy stoned. I seem to have a much greater appreciation for them w/o the need to step out often to take a toke.
I think getting serious about wanting more for me and finally being willing to put a plan into action is one of the hardest steps I've ever taken, but has been, without a doubt, the most rewarding. I feel a whole new sense of purpose. Actually feeling emotions is still a struggle. Some days worse than others, of course. I still crave. I still want to make a call every now and then to get a big ol' fat bag and use it as my stress reliever and escape from reality. But I haven't as of yet and the desire to do so doesn't last as long as it used to. I never really had faith or confidence in my ability to stop. I am so thankful I have been able to prove me wrong.
Thanks again to those who have helped me along the way. Best of luck to everyone in your journey. Peace and hugs!!!!!!!!!