it took for me to really except the fact that there was nothing i could do to help my husband of 24yrs. i had to except that he was gonna do what he was gonna do until he was truly ready to do whatever it took to help himself. i had to except that if i wanted to live and my kids to be ok, i had to take care of us and do whatever i needed to do for myself to make that happen.
i never lost the hope that my ah would one day decide to get better but today that hope is gone too. he passed away 2wks ago. even though i wasn't prepared for this, i had to except that it was a possibility too.
i had to began to let go emotionally first then slowly the rest followed. maybe you can try to begin to detach emotionally too. nothing has to be forever. thinking too far into the future makes it that much harder. try detaching(letting go) one day at a time,literally. you can always change your mind and hang on the next day. you make it through that day, the next day repeat. in time it does get easier.