I think she needs to accept she has a problem before anything. It was a book that did it for me, then allowing me to realise what was necessary if I wanted to get better. Worth having a look at it for both of you.
Under the Influence: A Guide to the Myths and Realities of Alcoholism
James Robert Milam, Katherine Ketcham
I have Tourette Syndrome so I understand difficulties with AA meetings but you can do it without. The God bit sorts itself out one way or another. I am not christian either like lots of folks - it's really not a barrier to recovery. I wish you both the best.
Stu.