a newbie here
Well I'm new at forums and especially this kind but I'm going to try it. I am not new at alcoholism, was in rehab my first time at 21 and second at 23. I am about to turn 40. I've held an occupation for 9 years that limits my drinking. I work on a boat for 28 days (during this time I can not drink and have gotten used to this) and then for 14 days I come home for "vacation". During this time I drink....alot. Ofcourse I come from a family of drinkers so there is not alot of support there. They even go as far as to tell me " you work hard for a living and deserve to induldge". They can't realize how much I don't like myself when I drink. Besides being sick and tired of this vicious cycle I have woken up to the fact that I'm in a relationship with but another alcoholic... I attract alcoholics. I've realized he doesn't care how stupid and idiotic I get when we're "partying" nor does he care how sick I am the next day...I truly get very ill nowadays after an all nighter. When I try to talk to him about his drinking (his pattern, I've found,when I'm home is to drink 2 cups of coffee in the morning and then proceed to drink beer for the rest of the day) he calls me a hypocrite and gets upset with me. I think this is classic case of denial. Sometimes he get's on a wine kick or lately it was a vodka kick. This story could go on and on... basically I don't know what to do. I'm at a loss. He gets mad at me if I try to show concern for him and I realize he doesn't have concern for me. He says he loves me:/ I have more issues...and realize I have to break some cycles and make a solid decision to sober up. Gosh this is difficult. Any advice or opinions about anything would help.