My now recovering stepmother was 56 when my dad died five years ago. She was gray and has a partial disability too. My dad was the ultimate control freak so she was a binge drinker before he died. But after is when she went full throttle for three years, until hitting a tree and ending up on life support for a month stopped her. She lost her car, her job, almost her home and has a mountain of debt.
She's been sober over a year now and is now the treasurer for her AA group. The first six months of sobriety were a real beach for her. Besides facing all the consequences, she was finally facing the grief stone cold sober. She had her meetings and local support system but I was/am her connection to my dad. I'm so glad I had finally learned to listen without trying to control. I have her to thank for teaching me and reinforcing how to support recovery.
She found hope again. She smiles and laughs now, though she still has moments of sorrow, anger, and even panic. That's when she says "one moment at time, right?"
We're with you teke, one day at a time, one moment at a time, one post at a time.