Yeah im with Keith on this one, im an alcoholic and i dont want to go back to that living hell, i also dont want to go back to feeling anxious all the time, terribly uncomfortable in social situations etc which turns out, for me, was a cause of the alcohol and i thought the stuff was helping me! Only a fair amount of time away from it and whole load of work on myself has allowed me to see this...if i could drink now i wouldn't drink if i was going on a date because i know i wouldn't enjoy it as much as if i was sober...i prefer to feel whats actually happening now and i hope you find the same soon...
And yeah it is life or death for me too...i can't do another amount of time with that insanity, its just not worth it at any price!