keithj

I can also see why not drinking socially is a better option for me. But for me, it's not about options or making lifestyle choices or feeling better or even about a better life for myself.

It's about life and death. Nobody believes that, and maybe I didn't believe it either when I got sober. But the facts for me are that I'm an alcoholic. I can not control my drinking. My own experience tells me that any attempts at control (drinking in certain situations only) will wind up with me drunk 24/7. Not just a turn of phrase, but literally unable to take a sober breath.

For an alcoholic like me, the idea that I could drink sometimes or in certain situations is indicative of an alcoholic mind. That alcoholic mind will always find a justification for drinking.

It comes down to this question. Are you an alcoholic?

I find it interesting that you made a decision to not drink, and yet you still drank. Was that control of your drinking? And now you are trying to find some rationalization that will let you continue to drink.

I don't know if you're an alcoholic or not, but that is some classic alkie thinking.