I actuallly found the pity pot and the self flagellation very comfortable when i was active, my self esteem was shot to bits because almost daily i would do something that completely deserved contempt...it's a bit hard when you are out there screwing your own and everyone else's life up to look in the mirror and say wow what a great person i am when the evidence to the contrary is right in front of you...
It took taking a good look at myself, in the steps of AA, and a whole load of action and really getting an understanding what to be an alcoholic actually meant to be able to cut myself a break and i'm quite sure i will be working on it until i fall off the perch...but it is a whole load easier now to look in the mirror and think you're alright mate, you make me laugh...much more fun than looking in the mirror and saying i ******* hate you:-)
So i would say when one gets fed up of the daily or periodic 'relapsing' give AA a good go, it's free to go, free coffee and sometimes you get a cake!