Originally Posted by
losingfaith 
. I stopped helping her with money and stuff like that. If she needs something I go buy that item myself. How do you get over the guilt? I can only love her from a far and I hate to think she feels abandoned by me but for my own sanity this is what i have to do.
I asked myself this very same question today regarding my adult A/dhtr. The guilt, sadness, etc. etc. I am doing what you are doing detaching and trying to love in my heart from afar. Trying to keep myself sane.
I believe we are doing the right thing, we have no choice. There will still be those white-knuckling rough days, where struggles to balance detachment and indifference are sometimes gut wrenching. However, if we don't STOP the dance with the alcoholic, chances are they won't stop their dance either. We are co-dependent and they know how to 'work us".
Please read the above post about being in God's Hands.
I know I have to leave everything up to Him, in His time, His ways.
I alone, am helpless over the insanity, without my Higher Power to keep me and my loved ones in His safe Hands.
We need to choose NOT to be a victim. Allowing ourselves to be victims is a failure of our intelligence. We have to become responsible for our own lives, however difficult that life may be. ‘No matter what happens to you, no matter how depressing it gets, I firmly believe that until we finally make that decision to detach and understand 'why' we have to 'stop the insanity",...... then after a period of time.... it will become liberating.’
Warm hugs and God Bless you,
Anne