percgirl,
i can completely relate to this whole fear of quitting. ill be candid and say that i've never admitted to a doctor that i "formerly" was an addict until the last doctor i started seeing - and, in the long run that really saved me from perpetuating a 7 year habbit of ripping off doctors for meds.
i think you need to stop fooling yourself into these "drug benefits" - such as the ones your family and hubby supposedly get. obviously, if you came to a recovery site, you need help. why not help yourself by being honest and telling a doctor - who is a professional - and who can help guide you in a way to get off these meds?