well, i was all about giving this marriage one last shot...if he could live with the boundaries which i had set which was basically that i could not live with him if he was going to drink, and i could not put up with being verbally abused
For me, the hardest part is TAKING ACTION when the boundary gets crossed.
Your first line of your post is two boundaries:
1. no drinking
2. no verbal abuse
And you would not "live with him" if he did either.
I am not sure if that means still date, but live in separate houses, or not be together, but he has (per you) broken both.
Ugh. I am sorry about his crappiness.
Are you ready to take action on your boundaries?
He's abusive and an alcoholic. Not one part of that nurtures you and your growing baby-wonderfulness.
You deserve goodness. That brass ring of serenity is ready for you when you are ready to grab it.
Hugs,
w