Welcome, Academia! I'm so glad you found us. Being able to tell my story and share my frustrations was a huge help to me when I found SR. These people really understood me, like no one else in my life could.
In the beginning, it does seem boring and pointless without alcohol. I know that's a terrible thing to say - but we need to give our bodies and minds chance to recuperate from all the damage. I learned to live again without it - I had literally anesthetized myself & masked my true feelings for most of my life. I didn't know how to enjoy anything without my constant companion - a nice, stiff drink always by my side.
Your self awareness will serve you well as you heal. I justified my drinking for decades - resulting in chaos and near death. This won't be you. You can do this thing. Let us know how it's going.