I'm sure you'll find plenty of help by searching the forums on here. Don't give up.
I understand the initial boredom, but if it's any consolation, that stuff began away once I started exercising, meditating, etc. I mean, surely remembering your actions is better than drowning yourself in some kind of chemical oblivion, right? Not to mention the money you'll save and the problems you'll avoid down the road. Good luck T. You've certainly come to the right place.