SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post

02-21-2010, 05:03 AM

# 11 (permalink)

serenityqueen

Attitude of Gratitude

Join Date: Sep 2007

Location: Dayton, Ohio

Posts: 2,305

WELCOME TO SR!

Quote:

My husband wants me to quit. I don't think he understands it, the disease of it, and he just thinks I'm depressed or just a mean drunk..we have talked about it at length but he just listens and doesn't really know what to say..I don't blame him but sometimes I feel like I'm doing this alone

People who don't have this disease don't understand that it IS a disease! It's not depression, it's not that we're weak . . . Addiction/Alcoholism is recognized by the AMA as a disease. If it weren't, insurance companies would not cover treatment.

I hope that you'll stop drinking for good so you don't put your child through the same things my Son went through because of my addiction. He went through 16 years of pure hell watching me on my downward spiral. He ended up going to live with his Dad when he was about 12 or 13 because he couldn't stand watching me get high or drunk every single night. He would say to me, "Mom, don't drink tonight, please?" I never realized how much it bothered him, how much I hurt him until I had been Clean & Sober for about two years when we sat down and had a serious conversation. He saw all positive changes in me, I was going to Meetings, was in intensive outpatient treatment, I was just a totally different person once I got into Recovery. But he had a lot of hurt and pain that he needed to get out. It broke my heart to listen to him tell me how it made him feel when he'd see me drunk. He told me about so many times that I thought I was hiding it from him when he was a little guy, but he knew. He told me about just about all of my hiding places. I was so ashamed, but I've worked through these feelings while working the Steps in AA.

I hope you'll continue to post, let us know how you're doing. And if you think you need to go into treatment, I hope you will. Hang in there because it gets better, soooo much better.

God Bless,
Judy