Hi Fascination,
I am new to this forum but alot of what you are feeling is true to me too, i alway's started a new day with 'never again' and saying that I would give myself a few days off and then I just never did, it was too esay to just go back and have another drink.. there is always a way however, get help and do the quitting with support, I am 14 days free of alcahol ( without any support) and I wish that I had found this forum earlier and I am sure that the lovely people here will help you! Quitting on your own is scary but it can be done and you are young enough that there can and I am sure will be life after alcahol!
I wish you all the best!!
P