(((mentallyexh)))
I am so sorry things have gone this way. Please know that it is not anyone's wish here that a marriage end because of the disease of alcoholim. No one is going to be doing a dance over what has happened believe me. It is the goal of recovery in my opinion to open a friend or family member of an addicted loved one to their own possibilities and their own life and to separate them from the hold that addiction has on everyone around it. Sometimes, that separation is fatal for a relationship. Sometimes it can promote a healthy change for the relationship and it can be saved.
You are seeing the hold that addiction has on your AH. You are seeing the dance it is doing inside him. He may very well want in his heart to stay married, but he has accepted that he cannot have both. His addicted version of marriage will eat you alive. You are choosing to live for yourself and your children and letting the dream of your version of marriage go. That's all it was, a dream. It cannot exist with addiction. It just can't.
Again, I am so sorry this has happened. Maybe you can find comfort in the fact that this was his choice. You did all that you could to give it a chance. He just couldn't reciprocate. You can move forward from this. Set a plan for yourself and your children and try to take things one step at a time.
We are here for you as always. Keep posting!!
Alice.