Thank you all for your replies. Life is a very strange journey indeed. You start out full of dreams and ambitions not only from yourself but family and you end up becoming something you regret and bringing pain to those that you love.
I always thought i was strong and able to do this by myself, Mr. type A personality, however i feel myself needing help, needing to express. After me trying to take my own life i now know that i need this more than anything as i do have a 5 month old at home along with my son that is now 8. Ive been staying home playing Mr. Mom because the economy is such **** that i havent been able to find a job in awhile and my wife has a good job. Alot of what i went through as well is feeling i couldnt provide for my family and that booze sure helped out at the end of the day...but no more will i bend to its will. People cant just confront their demons they have to defeat them.
As far as going to AA i will have to do much more study on the group.
I have read alot on this site about others experiences and i am glad to know that there are others who are trying to help through their own personal experiences. I couldnt have fallen any lower than i went.