?? about setting/crossing boundaries
so my ah and i were seperated for quite sometime. i decided that i had to give this marriage one last try based on him agreeing to the following boundaries - no drinking and no name calling and attempting better communication. now i thought the first two were pretty concrete...but now i have a dilemma. my ah is a dj and dj's at a bar. i have not witnessed him drinking in months, but i don't believe he has stopped. tonight he told me that since he had to go work with a friend tomorrow at 7am, that after he dj'ed tonight, he was going to stay with our friend who is the bartender and go to breakfast with the guys (just stay up instead of sleep)....now we lived 1 mile from our friend - the only reason in my mind that he would want to stay there is because he intends to drink tonight and does not want me to know. the other reasons make no sense to me.....so here i am stuck. i want to drive down there tonight and pop in and see if he is drinking, but that would be trying to control him so i won't. i know if i ask him, he is going to tell me that he was not drinking. however, to me this really does break the boundaries i have set. do you think that i am wrong to say no drinking....even if it does not happen near me or the kids? i kinda feel like his drinking is like having a hidden affair - hiding it, and lying about it. again, i have no idea if he actually is drinking....only what my intuition is telling me. any thoughts would be appreciated.