queenteree

Hi All,
I usually post over at the F&F/Alcoholics forum since my H is a newly recovering alcoholic. I'm pretty familiar with alcoholism but not so familiar with drug addiction. I'm really at a loss and would appreciate any and all words of wisdom.

My 28 yo daughter is a single mom of 2 girls (ages 8 and 9). She was married to an alcoholic, but he left the picture when the youngest was 6 mos. old, terminated his parental rights, neither he nor his mother (a major enabler with bipolar disorder) have seen the children since, no child support, nothing. She is also a licensed hairdresser and LPN. In any event, about 3 years ago, my daughter was arrested for being in a car with a guy who was high on crack and a crack pipe was in the car. Since she had never been in trouble before, they dismissed her case acod, so if she didn't get in trouble for 6 mos. it was dropped. She claimed she had "no idea". Ok, that could be possible. She never did make wise decisions in her life.

Two years ago, she was making french fries, and was badly burned in a fire, had 2nd degre burns on her chest and face. They gave her painkillers, vicodin. She has been taking them since. I know for a fact that she goes to numerous drs to get her scripts, always claiming she fell, hurt her foot, needs tooth surgery, etc. Nobody can be that clumsy, I swear she used to trip just to get her pills, but I have no proof on that. Last year she was arrested for driving with a suspended license. She was using her boyfriend's car (they have since broke up). In any event, she was on her way home from the hospital, she used MY name and on the paperwork it said she needs to stop using benzos and cocaine. Her boyfriend showed me the paperwork. After I confronted her, she said she had a problem w/Xanax and doesn't know where they got the "cocaine" from. She forgot to get her kids off the school bus cause she was high on Xanax the next day. Finally, I gave her an ultimatum, get help or I take her kids. She went to a holding facility for 2 weeks, I had her kids, she came out, went to outpatient, and seemed to be ok for about 2 mons. I soon learned after that from her kids and others that she would get high on Xanax and take the kids out at all hours of the night to train stations begging for money. My little grandkids told me this. I confronted her, she denied, her landlady called cps, she was investigated and it was dropped.

The first day of school this year, she again was high on Xanax, never got her kids off the bus. The school called me, I left my job early to get them, and then kept them with me. Thank God my granddaughter talked to the school and told them how her mom gets "out of it" and the school called cps. I have had her kids since, not "legally", but temporarily cause cps is investigating and has a family court action pending against her for neglect.

My daughter got her kids back briefly in December/January and they lived with a family friend (I forgot to mention she has been unemployed for 3 years, and is homeless now cause she never pays rent where she is, yet she collects unemployment, but manages to always get evicted). Within 3 weeks, she was back taking her Xanax and had an argument w/the friend, police were involved, police called me to get my grandkids, cps still had supervision over the case, so they placed them back with me, at which time I was still leaving work early to get them from school, etc. My husband is a newly recovering alcoholic who is on house arrest for multiple dwi's, but can go to meetings and intensive outpatient. CPS does not want him to watch them, which is understandable and I have abided by that.

My daughter was in a halfway house in a seedy area of town, but managed to get herself kicked out of there for "seeing her own pastor" as she puts it (I highly doubt it). So she calls me and wants to stay w/me. I said absolutely not. She calls her kids 5 mins a day, sees them for an hour on weekends, other times when I talk to her she seems totally out of it, yet claims she is not an addict. According to her, her outpatient counselor said she is not an addict and shouldn't even be in treatment, and when she went to detox she lied to the counselors there. She told me that since I said no about her staying with me, her counselor said she and her girls need to sever ties with me and during the past week she has managed to contact her x husband and his mother on facebook and her and her counselor think it's a good idea for them to be part of her children's lives again.

She has a family court date on Monday, she claims the cps woman said nobody will ever give me the kids, not cps, not family court, etc. These kids are not safe with her. She has no regard for their feelings ... she wants revenge and a meal ticket, that is it. My MIL tells me let the kids go and let God, I don't know if I have the fight in me. My daughter said she would destroy my sons, call their jobs, lie about my husband, anything she needs to do if I do this. I don't think cps knows all this, they do not know that she prob is a crack addict too (since my sons were finding hollowed out pens in my bathroom when she would be around). She is still using, and being a nurse, she knows what won't show up on a drug screen. Also, this will affect her nursing license.

There's probably so much more I can say, I've left things out probably, but I really need some kind of help on this one. Anything anyone can offer is greatly appreciated. Thanks.