After going through this with my son, and addressing the issues of my own codependency has also changed my life in ALL aspects. I began therapy in June after my son suffered yet another relapse. I realized that my life was i a tailspin and I needed to get help. I went there to address the reasons of my codependency and to learn some coping skills for myself while loving someone in active addiction. Within a few visits I began to look at the other areas of my life, my rotten marriage for one. I've since realized how strong I am, how long I stayed in a rotten marriage out of fear of the unknown, and maybe thinking that I couldn't do it alone, when I realized how many years I have been.
I asked DH for a divorce three months ago. I'm totally ok, have come to terms with it, and do feel some kind of inner peace for "speaking my truth" as my therapist says.
Recovery rocks!