I've been where you've been and know how it feels. I did the same thing...feel lonely...drink and when that wasn't good enough that same night spend my money on something harder....looking back its quite easy for me to say why....I'm an addict...Congradulations on telling on your disease...Na made me one promise...freedom from active addiction...as a result of working the program I have over 2 years today...and i have found what i spent so many years in active addiction seeking...freedom from myself....love you brother...check out an aa or na meeting sometime