Welcome to SR!
We're all here for the same reason: addiction. I know it seems hard to give it up but the rewards are so worth the effort. I love waking up feeling good instead of feeling sick as a dog each morning.
I'm no longer wasting money and time, nor am I taking risks. I've got my self respect, and the respect of my kids, back and it feels good.
You don't have to be a slave to something that makes you feel so bad. Stay sober one day at a time and your life will improve. I still have the same problems I used to have (except for not drinking now) but I can handle them a lot better sober. You can too.
There are lots of ways to stay sober, but whatever you do, do it like your life depends on it - cause it does.