Im so glad i found this place!
Hey everyone, my names Jay im a 26 year old man from the uk. Ive been drinking since i was 13 and have never gone longer than seven days without drinking. I always convinced myself that i didnt have a problem because i didnt drink everyday, ive come to realise thats not true. Over the years ive done some terrible things while drunk.
The problem is once i start drinking i cant stop till i pass out. It all came to a head on thursday, i went to a bar with a friend with the intention of having a couple of drinks, by the time we stopped drinking it was saturday. I woke up on saturday morning alone with **** stained trousers, my face had blood all over it (id obviously been hit) , i had no phone, no wallet, and to top it all i was in a completely different city. I sat on the train home and decided enough was enough.
When i woke up sunday i decided to start writing down all the terrible things i had done while drunk, all the fights id had, all the people id upset, all the money id wasted (i spent over 500 pounds on the recent drinking session, basically my mortgage money plus some) by the time id finished id wrote out 26 pages.
So since sunday i havent drank, ive changed my phone number and deleted my facebook so none of my buddys can get in touch, ive started praying regulary ( i havent prayed since i was 8 years old), and im trying to keep my mind focused on staying sober. THE PROBLEM IS my whole life since i was 13 has been based around drinking, when i was happy i drank, when i was celebrating i drank, when my favourite sports teams won i drank, when they lost i drank, when i was sad i drank, every bitrthday, christmas, new year, party ive been drunk, i was even hammered when i lost my virginity lol. Im scared to face a life that doesnt involve drink. Another problem is only my parents and me think i have a problem everyone else says im not an alcoholic, they say "but you dont drink every day" or "if you were an alcoholic you wouldnt have held a job for so long". Even my own mind tells me i dont have a problem sometimes.
I know i have a problem and i know i have to fight it, i hope and pray i can have your support